Australia
Why don't we run miles in this paper?
We run kilometres. Then we sit down with a cuppa.
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How did the Torrens get its name in the funnies?
Somebody asked for a river, and it showed up politely.
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Why was the lamington invited to every picnic?
It brought its own coconut and didn't make a fuss.
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What did the Adelaide oval say to the crowd?
Sit. Watch. Cheer. Then find a bakery.
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Why do we write 'arvo' in the paper?
Because afternoon is a long word for a short, golden part of the day.
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How does a cockatoo review a headline?
Loudly. Then it steals the pegs.
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What do you call a kangaroo on the tram?
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Why was the light beer so popular at the desk?
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How do you make a cuppa in kilometres?
You don't. You make it in a mug, then you sit down.
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Why did the magpie apply to the paper?
It already knew how to collect shiny things. Headlines, for instance.
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What did the Hills say to the plains?
You're looking well. Stay gold.
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